Hi Folks,
Well, what a busy month this has been! I have been harrassing..oops..err....reminding folks what a wonderful Community Newspaper we have here and how much we need submissions. Result! a packed issue!
It's been a busy month on the home front too. Senior Sprog has returned from the states, your daughters are safe again! Only one or two mishaps, he lost his passport, luckily enough it wasn't too far to the nearest British Consulate for him to get a temporary one to get him back home. <sigh> It only cost him $112 too! Then he left a bag in Washington DC with his camera and new T-Shirts in it. <sigh> However, he did manage to meet our very good friend Martha and her son Larry and spent an exciting day with Larry. He managed to remember to give Martha the McVities dark chocolate digestive biscuits (Cookies) that she loves though......thank goodness or Martha would have killed me. Our Martha isn't too well at the moment so I hope you will all join me in wishing her a speedy recovery. At least the sprog managed to find his way back home to his Mammy!
I made a huge mistake last month, one I don't intend to make again. I reported that the sprogs had failed to break anything major in a while. Well..... they sure made up for lost time. They broke my Cooker! One unrepairable cooker and one extremely bent credit card later, we have returned to normal cooking facilities! (Shurrup Maggs!!, ok...as normal as cooking ever will be in my house!)
Mother has departed for a holiday in Holland, a trip she has wanted to make for around 50 years, so that lets me off the hook for the mega shopping for Ireland expeditions on Saturdays, so I am able to be here with you all and get this edition to the presses!
We have some brilliant news! The new bathroom is installed!!! Even though I say so myself, it looks fabulous. It was a nightmare living for almost two weeks without this vital room in full operation. The builders came early in the morning and even expected me to be up to let them in <cringin'> My coffee pot was on overtime throughout their stay here and I think I have finally managed to erradicate all the dust and dirt! Phewww but it really was worth it, I now have a bathroom to be proud of! (now if only the sprogs would stay out of it!)
Just the one feedback this month.
"You're doing a great job on the
paper, and I like the diversity of the writers and the subjects.
Keep up the good work!"
We have heard from our Tae Kwondo Queen 'Kat', she hasn't left the country! LOL
"Lynda,
I still enjoy reading in the forum although lately I have been so
busy I rarely get to chat much. I am undergoing 4 weeks of
intense therapy for a hamstring injury I sustained three weeks
ago. I am going to Phoenix this weekend with my 10 year old
daughter who will compete to better her standings in the 10 year
old Karate ring. She is currently ranked 5th in the World and
will compete in June for the World championship Title of the
American Taekwondo Association in conjuction with the WTF - World
Taekwondo Federaion and STF - South American Taekwondo Federation.
I am currently ranked first and will also compete in June for the
title in my age and first degree ring..thus I am really working
on getting the muscle back to 100%. I have been out of the ring
for three weeks and have at best 4 more weeks before I get to
work out. That will at best leave me 4 weeks til The World
Championships to get ready. Wish me luck. :-) Not much else news
here and don't feel like you have to include this info...was just
updating you and giving you the only news I have right now.
Standings are now updated at our home website as well at www.ataonline.com.
Kat"
Well done Kat! and we all hope your injury heals well and soon!
We have even more joyous news from our very own Tavispav!
"Hey Lynda,
I wanted to let everyone know that the baby came, and all are
fine. She was born March 27, 2002 at 11:56 am (I won't disgust
anyone with the fact that I was only in labor for 1 hour and 15
minutes). We gave her the name Hannah Victoria (her middle name
is my first name).
Please tell all that I miss them and will be back online very,
very soon....I have been so busy with new baby, older children,
and a houseful of family.
Thanks..and many ((((((hugs)))))) to all.
Tavispav <victoria>"
Many many Congratulations to you and Hannah Tav! and YES a one and a quarter hour labour *IS* disgusting!!!
A further note for all you waiting to find out how Cousin Clem got on in Germany, you will have to wait one more month for the next installment. Real life has made Cousin rather busy at the moment, there are rumours that a new batch of his local thirst quencher turned out rather well, he may be busy with a little quality control testing at the moment <S>
Thats all for this month folks, please keep those article coming, everyone enjoys them so much!
Any comments. articles, tips etc, please mail to LyndaAtCasual@Compuserve.com
Lynda [Editor]
Editorial.........................................................................Lynda
Rocking out on the Porch...............................................Taffy
"Little Bits! from Ma'am..................................................Maureen
Just a Story.....................................................................Anon
Wrenched Thoughts.......................................................WrenchofCo
Amelia Jenks Bloomer.....................................................Nefertiti
The Apple Tree...............................................................Joanie
Who Dat?........................................................................Nefertiti
Know knows of Computers..............................................Raca
Casual Travel Tips (for the ladies).....................................Happi
With summer's approach, The Porch is beginning to see
more traffic. On these nice spring days The Porch roosters are
scratching around and pecking in the dirt while The Porch hens
watch from the splintered swing and the wicker rocking chairs.
There's an occasional clucking and ruffling of feathers while
eggs are being laid and opinions expressed!
Recently, the weather-beaten, sagging, squeaking screen door to
The Porch came up missing. Accusations were hurled coast to coast
and country to country as to who the guilty culprit might be.
Butter(fly) noticed it first
and complained with her usual whining. It was news that The Porch
was screened in--none of us had noticed! Cruise Air and Cousin
Clem suggested leaving The Porch open since it was more friendly
that way, but Jeanne
expressed fear of deer ticks coming in and spreading Lyme Disease
(you know how she is about creepy, crawly things).
Bug zappers were suggested, but Strangelilbebe was concerned it
might impact on the population of love bugs, and we know how
great a force those little buggers have become in the forum!
They're biting all over the place,
and the airlines might go out of business if a serious decline in
the love bug community occurred.
Doctor Who finally confessed to the dastardly theft. Living in
Louisiana on the bayou, it was understandable that he needed the
door to keep the skeeters out. True to our compassionate nature,
we forgave him and he's still one of our favorite roosters, along
with Johnny, Bobb, Earl and Jerry Lee.
The Porch has recently welcomed a Texas rooster named Justice, a
fine crowing specimen of proud poultry wearing cowboy boots.
And The Porch chick, Lexy, our resident teenager, provides
everyone with a healthy dose of her youthful exuberance, along
with the creative way she writes her name and bounces around with
constant name changes. But we're on to her. <s>
The Porch Message Board provides everyone with announcements from
Becca, Marie and Gin relating to games and discussion groups.
Anyone can initiate their own topic for comments, whether it's
humor, nostalgia, personal issues or current events. We joke
around a lot, but sympathetic ears are always ready for our
friends and acquaintances. Currently, Mountaineer has "brought
to light" the subject of fireflies. Add your own memories to
the growing list of recollections.
Drop by The Porch and say hello. Sit a spell, but be careful of
the cat's tail. It has a way of getting under the rockers.
Taffy
Greetings from Ma’am! Some of you may wonder why I
am referred to as Ma’am? It was NOT my idea <grin> One
of my pet peeves was being referred to as ma’am by just
about anyone. I always felt "old" <LOL> Anyway I
wrote a memo to staff and had just dealt with someone that used
Ma’am continuously. At the end of the memo, I made the
statement - Do Not Call Me Ma’am!!! Big mistake <shaking
head> After that this wonderful staff were relentless with the
ma’am. When many of us met in Montreal last year they would
refer to that title and even curtsied. It was hilarious and all
in good fun. I have been called other names in the forum, let me
rephrase that, ummm known as other names in the forum over the
years. When I first came upon the forum, known as General Chat
Forum way back then, I was known as Mo. I used this as a generic
name, being new to online. I changed to Ms Mo for a few years and
finally just decided to use my real name.
General Chat Forum was open to all ages however there was a
section called "Not Under Forty" that got my attention.
I "lurked" for a long time and finally jumped in the
hilarious banter in the message thread. I met Antionette aka
Tallie and she was new at the time also. We had orientation from
Da Yanitor and Fast Ed, they were the official male online
greeters for the new women. <w> Soon Lillyrsoe was posting
in messages and soon Das Boot was created. Das Boot would have
about 200 to 300 messages a day. In the meantime I joined staff
as a Message Host. In 1996 management at that time decided to
create another forum for folks over 18, Casual Adult Chat was
born. In 1997 Ichat was created. General Chat, Casual Adult Chat
and Ichat were managed by the same people and all hosts worked
all three forums. It was a shock when I logged on one day and
found out I was assigned A/Sysop in Ichat!!! Management at the
time replied they needed a mature person to take on that
responsibility. In other words, no one else volunteered
<nods> About 1998/99 the forums went through more
management changes and eventually the forums all split and hosts
worked in just one forum. It was nice to have a huge staff in all
three forums working together however we all moved on. I was back
in Casual and happy to be here as this is my home away from home.
Casual had another management change this year when Trisha became
the contract holder for Casual. I am hoping we are through with
management changes <grin>
I would like to say at this time, Casual Chat Forum Staff are
some of the finest people I have ever worked with in cyber land
and real life. Many have been on this staff for quite a few years
and it must say something positive when there is very little
turnover. I am proud to work with this staff and in my opinion,
the finest staff on Compuserve!..
More bits and pieces to come in future issues!!!!
She stood in the middle of the room looking all around her.
Making sure everything was in place, everything was spotless. No
toys to be found. Nothing laying around. Kids where all in school
and she had 2 hours until she had to pick her youngest up from
pre-school. Yes, the day on the calender had changed, but for her
they just all blended together.
It was always the same routine, and no matter what she did,
nobody was ever happy with all her efforts. All the cleaning,
scrubbing of floors, tending to the children, making breakfasts,
lunches, dinners, sitting down to do homework, and all the little
things in between that helped keep a household going was done
with very little help from anyone. She made it so everything was
done by the time everyone got home, so she could enjoy the time
with her family. But it was always just the kids she was around.
Her husband was never home. He was always working or out
somewhere else. So at the end of the day, when all children were
tucked into thier beds, fast asleep, she would curl up with a
romance book of some sort. And when he finally walked in the door
and would see her reading a book or asleep, he would accuse her
of doing nothing all day.
She was lonely and bored. Needing and wanting adult conversations.
Excitement and adventure. She needed something more in her life.
She was tired of being yelled at for doing nothing at all, and
decided she needed to prove just what all she did. She decided
that she would stop doing the extensive cleaning. Just straighten
up slightly and just enough cleaning so that the kids did not
live in filthy conditions. She would only cook certain things.
Let him see just exactly what she did do.
She couldn't go out anywhere as he always had the car. So she
went to the computer and decided that she would venture into a
chat room to see what all the hype was about. Her first
encounters where with a bunch of very nice people. And from
there, she found another room and found that there where other
people out there who felt like her. Bored with life, tired of the
same thing, but can't or don't want to go out many places. She
met many people and made many friends.
She began to realize that as time went on, she much rather
enjoyed talking with everyone and didnt really want to miss
chatting with anyone. The internet and its chat rooms where very
addicting. It had its upside and its downside. She learned how to
do so many things on the pc. How to fix this problem and that.
How to work her way around almost everything. All the people who
let her know she was not alone.
As days turned to months and months turned to days and of course
days turned into years. Many things started happening. More
arguements at home, and divorce was eminent. She even left home
to try a relationship that was not what it seemed. She was very
much alone, more than ever. She had her kids but she still needed
something more, but never knew quite what it was. She had many
friends now. But still.......she longed for desire and passion.
For comfort and companionship. She had developed a very close
friendship with someone she told everything too. She didnt trust
many people in the chat rooms, but she had trusted this man with
all her life. He reached out to her. He was there when she needed
someone to talk to. She returned that by being there and
listening to him. All the good times and the bad times. But it
was never more than best close friendship. Two people just
enjoying their talks together.
He decided to venture out and take a trip. In the end he came to
visit her. He had more traveling he wanted to do and knowing she
needed a break from her monotonous life, he asked her to join him
on his vacation. Soon they both realized that there was more to
the friendship. He gave her the riches of the world. Not money,
not material
things, but the small things she so much enjoyed. Through him,
she saw how wonderful the world looked as if she was seeing it
all for the first time in her life.
Soon they realized that neither one could bare to be apart. But
yet, they could not be together. They intensified thier
relationship, but had to call it off because there where mirages
that came in the form of obstacles. They where both so miserable
without each other. They still continued thier friendship, they
were still best of friends. They were still always there for each
other.
One day, he called her up and said he cant live without her. He
came to her in person and they traveled again. They enjoyed all
that nature had to offer them, the splendor of the sites in front
of them. She knew he was everything she had wanted. He was what
was missing in her life. He held the key to her happiness, to her
heart and to her future. With him, she found her smile, her
laughter, her sense of being complete. She found her strength and
determination. There was nothing she could not do.
To those who thinks she is marrying someone who she barely knows,
maybe this gives insight. For those who think the internet is bad...they
have never given it a try. All I know is that, it is like
anything else in life. Keep a sharp wit about you, always have an
open mind. And as you go down life's roads....fairytales can be
real...they can happen anytime, anywhere. You can meet prince
charming (or princess for you men) in a supermarket, on the
street, in a bar, or even find your happily ever after on the
internet.
Now if you will all excuse me, I squeezed my foot into this damn
glass slipper to make it fit and its starting to hurt.
And one more note: My life is so complete with you. Forever and
Always I will hold you in my arms and not let go. My heart was
given to you as yours to me. A gift that we gave to each other
that holds more treasure than anywhere in the world. Your love is
something I will not foresake or take for granted. We have a
lifetime to explore and an eternity to love. I shall give to you
the happiness that all can have as you do so for me now. Forever
and Always I shall never take for granted all that you give to me.
I promise to fall in love with you all over again every day we
spend together. There will never be a day that passes in which I
do not do the three most important things in life.....tell you
"I Love You" "I'm sorry for my mistakes" and
always let you know just how much I cherish you. This I want the
world to know because I'm so in Love with you.
Anon
Well another month has come and gone, and Spring has
sprung, then looked around and decided to sleep in and give
Winter another weekend. I don’t get this weather, just a few
days ago the temperature was in the 80’s, and now it’s
getting cold all over again. The leaves on my trees are just
starting to bud. Such is the weather, just when you think it’s
safe to go outside, you might as well stay in and get drunk.
So what’s been happening this month? The war is going well,
we’ve caught one of the major commander types under bin
Laden. Word from the front is that our friend Osama is with his
37 virgins, but nobody wants to say for sure until they locate
some body parts. That’s all right though, I’ve been
speculating for a while that he bit the big one, maybe a direct
hit by a one ton bomb blew him into smithereens, and now he’ll
spend eternity with 37 beautiful women who say," I ain’t
doing that!"
Latest news on the home front is that Robert Blake has been
arrested for murdering his wife. I guess he forgot the line from
his "Baretta" theme song, you know," Don’t do
the crime if you can’t do the time." This could be
another "OJ" trial. Tell you what, here is a guy worth
millions and about every toy that any guy could want, and he
kills his wife. Marriage must be hell, I’m staying single.
Back at the Wheeled Mansion, I took out the garbage. About three
months worth, and I cleaned the litter box, though that gets done
regularly, as the critter always lets me know when it needs
cleaned, usually about 3am on a work night. I was going to vacuum
and do a thorough cleaning, really get the place spiffed up, but
then I decided," Screw It!" and went for a bicycle ride.
If anyone who visits doesn’t like the surroundings, they can
clean the place themselves. Uh by the way, I’d like to start
a drive to have Lynda come over here and clean my house, just for
kicks. She can leave her sprigs at home.
I have been watching the latest edition of "Survivor".
Things are getting very interesting. Seems there were these four
who had formed an alliance, well guess what, they got stomped on.
I love it when bozo’s who act like they’re better than
anyone else get stomped. I could be the only "Survivor"
fan in the forum, but if any of you like to see a bunch of people
get dumped off in the middle of nowhere just to see what happens,
check it out. I’m waiting for the version that shows the
player getting voted off and then shot. That one would probably
be real interesting. Of course, there’s always a chance they’ll
do "Survivor: Donner Pass", and the last one not eaten
wins a steak dinner!
Well lets see now, the monthly hopes:
I hope the war ends, though it’s unlikely that’ll
happen soon. I hope Molly’s knee gets better, for those who
don’t know, she was trying out for the Packers, and tore her
ACL in her knee. I hope spring comes back and stays. Send all
this cold weather to Ireland. I hope I can somehow get free
Cinemax again, it’s also known as Skinamax, you can figure
out why. I hope everyone has a great month, and I hope a young
buxom supermodel comes knocking on my door and takes me away to
her mansion and lets me drive her Ferrari and...well you get the
picture. Have a great month everyone!
Wrench
In 1848 Elizabeth Smith Miller appeared in Seneca
Falls, New York, wearing a costume she had designed for herself
while traveling in Europe. It consisted of loose Turkish trousers
gathered at the ankles, a skirt extending about halfway between
the knees and ankles and a very loose fitting bodice. The print
hit the fan when Amelia Bloomer publicized the garment in a
newsletter, in which she wrote about women's rights and unjust
marriage laws.
in 1840, when Amelia Jenks married Dexter Bloomer, the word
"obey" was stricken from the brides vows. This began a
marriage like no other before. A marriage in which Mr. Bloomer
respected his wife's autonomy to a shocking degree. Bloomer was
coeditor of the Seneca County Courier newspaper. Amelia
contributed articles to the paper on political and social topics.
She also contributed to the local temperance publication, The
Water Bucket.
In 1848 Amelia began a publication of her own, The Lily. Because
husbands refused to let their wives read it, Amelia rented a
reading room where women gathered, read, and discussed the latest
issues. The townsmen railed and ranted and said Mrs. Bloomer
would be the "ruination of the world!"
To make matters worse, the "dammed woman" hosted a
convention celebrating women's rights under the 
Leadership of Lucretia Mott and
Elizabeth Cary Stanton. When Lucretia's friend, Elizabeth,
arrived from Europe wearing the strange costume all the girls
adopted it as their banner for freedom. It was called "The
Bloomer Costume" and soon Susan B. Anthony, and other
women's rights advocates, adopted the new style.
Amelia Bloomer's mail began to pile up. No sooner did other women
hear of it, then they too sported the costume. Husbands were
horrified and said so.
"Even the heavy laced undergarments and multiple layers of
petticoats were discarded in favor of letting the vital organs
breathe." The "ruination of women" was called the
"Bloomer Costume." In the United States and Europe,
humor magazines were animated by the "Bloomer costume."
Farces were running on the London stage; song writers added
songs, "The Bloomer Waltz" and "The Bloomer Polka."
Mr. Dexter Bloomer went out of the newspaper business, until in
1854 he had an offer he couldn't turn down to publish a weekly
paper. Amelia and The Lily went with him to Mount Vernon, Ohio.
Being a practical soul she saw no reason why The Lily couldn't be
printed in the same shop as Dexter's weekly. She hired a woman
compositor and her husbands' typesetters went on strike. Amelia
called women friends to take their places. The lack of weekly
salaries forced male typesetters back to work. Two years later,
the Bloomers moved again. This time to the frontier in Council
Bluffs, Iowa. Amelia sold The Lily because there were no printing
and mailing facilities in Council Bluffs for such a large and
thriving publication. But this didn't stop Amelia. She
established Good Templar lodges and churches. Still wearing her
Bloomers she remained an ardent disciple of change. From New York
to Iowa her followers carried on the cause, "and the
husbands be damned !!"
Men muttered "It's just not proper when a woman has her own
money," and refused to give wives spending money. Women
responded by getting other jobs, earned their own money, and
dared to enter the very "bastions of manly life,"
drinking in bars and meeting rooms ! Horror of horrors, there
went the neighborhood!
Nefertiti
On the 9th of February was checked into the emergency
room of hospital here in Redding, and it was not a glorious event
I can promise you. I mumbled, argued, yelled and cried, even so
it was a war that I had no control over and I lost the battle, in
doing so a third of my foot.
Many nurses will testify, I spent the next three weeks being a
very bad patient, and had the position been reversed I could have
easily thrown me out the window, and that was up three stories.
Even so they were very good to me --- may have even understood
me, where at that moment was more than I did.
Perhaps, when the quiet came finally, it meant that I just gave
up, maybe I just didn't care any more? But things begin to happen
that was a total surprise, a welcome one, and it helped me come
to an awareness that I needed to know.
First, my new on line friend, Tyme, found out that I could
receive email, and he spread the word through the forum. Never
have I received so many, plus cards, phone calls, (even from Tali
who DOES NOT make calls) and lordy the flowers from all the
wonderful people there in our casual chat --- I felt very moved,
can not discribe the wonderous feelings in my heart.
So on this day, I think I may have at that very moment realized
that my ears were finally as large as my mouth, not an easy task.
None have unloaded on me past a simple share once in awhile, but
I have unloaded on many, it is time that it stopped.
Through the rain I look out the window of this place at my old
sick apple tree, that in small places slips forth a bud in
promise of a new birth --- where as some of the branches are yet
to be no more than brittle sticks tht are near ugly. Yet me
thinks when I start putting on 'buds to my soul' I may yet
conquer the 'brittle' of my heart and be at last where I should
be.
For all of you that cared so much, am going to borrow from a
friend an offering that she has given to me so often. "If
you have a need, a fear, a pain or someone just to care let it be
me. See my hand, it is strong, it is good, hang on and I won't
let you go until your better".
With much love from my heart to you all-------
Joanie
Ever wonder what a title really means? Most stem from the
Latin, probably to give them a grandeur, however false or obscure.
United States Governmental offices and institutions are good
examples. Take President, for example: it comes from sideo (to
sit) and pre (in front). He lives in the Nation’s Capital,
from: natus (to be a native) and caput (a human head). Thus:
THE SITS-IN-FRONT LIVES IN THE HEADPLACE OF THE NATIVES.
All Sits-in-Fronts have helpers. We call ours Senators, which
really means, senex (and old man). Where they work is Congress,
from con (with) and gradi (step) which translates to Step
Together.
THE 98TH STEP TOGETHER?
Sounds like a bunch of old men shuffling along.
Nef
How long that list of computer no no's has gotten. Sort
of like foods, seems everything is bad for you. When I first
learned of this information gatherers and sharers I was not
impressed. NOBODY would want one of those.
Young boys "chatting" with your daughters are actually
35 year old, unclean,unemployed preditors. Young teens "chatting"
with your sons are actually 35 year old, unclean, unemployed
perverts. A big NO here.
NO when it comes to shopping. Crooks await in cyber shadows to
steal your credit card numbers. Probably sell them to unclean,
unemployed perverts.
The big NO NO is dating on line. NO, not cyber sex (you perverts)
just meeting new people. I mean why not go the bar route. That's
pretty safe, right. Nobody gets a bad person at a bar.
As a once widowed and twice divorced male with more morals than
the normal pervert I had found wife number three in a personal ad.
Now that was a case of false advertising. This "sweet"
little package was a disaster. Mean beast lookin for someone to
help pay the bills.
NO, not again for me. No more personal ads. Even quit reading the
paper.
I did enjoy reading the personal ads on (in?) the computer. They
were so desperate and funny. Liked looking at the pictures and
wondered how many were the actual "shoppers".
The Cinderella ad was cute. Sort of like the woman was willing to
try one more time but didn't hold out much hope. No picture,
least no lie here. I was curious so I answered the ad. The only
one out of ads on several servers I answered.
Cinderella recieved one reply to her ad. It was me. She had been
through a couple of bad marriages, raised her children and was
not interested in any long term relationship.
We were married a couple of months later. Cinderella was (is?) my
she RACA. So wondeerful and such a good match. Such a wonderful,
good hearted human being. I feel so lucky.
NO nothing, I even shop on line.
Raca
(for the Casual Ladies)
If you ever want to travel, have i got
some advice for you! I took a vacation (holiday for the uk'ers)
with my sweetheart and had the time of my life. I would suggest
any couple to do this so you can really get to know each other.
And you will know each other by the end of the trip. You will
either have fallen more in love, started having second thoughts,
or have killed each other.
Choosing a destination is very important as without it, you
really aren't going anywhere. Once you have choosen, change it a
few times, have him change hotel reservations and the day before
tell him what place you would most like to visit. Then finally
get in the car and go.
This plan of attack shows you just how flexible he is to your
wants and needs, it also shows his patience for you when he
thinks you are really being a royal pain in the arse (Honey you
passed this with flying colours. You british men are so
accomadating and perservering).
Now, when you first start out, your mate will tell you a very
early time. Tell him this is fine, but you and I both know that
you won't really leave until 1/2 hour to an hour after that time.
Every man will blame the woman for this but if he is in love with
you so he will say, "its ok honey, i really don't mind."
And besides, if he had packed the
car the previous evening, then you would be out the door, and you
being in love with him, you'll just go along without saying a
word.....and by the way...did you see the way he packed the
trunk??? (I knew my man was
very special indeed when he told me he put all our things into
the boot. Now I looked all around the inside of the car and I did
not see any boot. I mean I had a pair of boots on my feet, but
there was none in the car. And honestly, anyone that can fit all
that luggage into footware has to be amazing! I love him so I
trusted him and didn't bother asking just wear this boot was at.
I just adjusted myself to the fact that now my clothes would be
wrinkled).
Ok so you are on the road. Don't critisize his driving, (he will
figure out eventually, that the reason why the cars are coming
towards him are because he is driving on the left and not the
right). He wants to impress you with his skills and how he takes
care of you on this trip. Once again, just humour him, he doesnt
know that this is how us woman test our men.
Now if you can do this, plan a trip to a brother or sister's on
the way. You don't have to stay for a visit, but it gives you a
chance to see how he reacts with your family and besides that,
you can snag some free drinks and food and also use the bathroom
(he calls it the loo....isn't that cute! Although I don't think I
will ever go on the waterloo ride at Great Adventure anymore. And
it also makes me think... I have an aunt named lu....does that
make her Aunt Bathroom? God help me if any of my family reads
this) . So anyway, you can get all that without the hassle of him
digging into his wallet at a rest area, and it lets him see how
resourceful you are by trying to save him money. (You'll need
that later for a possible 3 kt diamond ring with matching
earrings and necklace).
And it gives him a break from driving (and a chance for you to
calm your nerves down).
Now if its a 24 hour drive to, ohhhh lets say the Florida Keys,
you'll want to be considerate, have him stop and you drive for an
hour or two. This lets you finally take the wheel and get a bite
to eat. (Now ladies if he is considering marriage, he is also
most likely considering a family because he has not stopped in
the past 10 hours, when you have had to pee for the last 6, and
he didnt realize that when you started eating the bits of food
you found laying on the floor from when you last had kids in the
car, actually meant you were starving).
When you finally get to your destination, try not to actually
kneel down on the ground and kiss the pavement. When he says he
rented a private little cottage on one of the islands that is in
the middle of the keys, and wants to impress you with his way of
saving some money (as you did with stopping at your family's
house...for free and has all amenities), keep in mind that it
means it is a hut built by gilligan himself and has no phone. And
anyways, so far everything is going really well, you have had
ample conversation and you are in love with him, so it doesn't
really matter where you are at, as long as you are with each
other. (Ok, so I picked out this place and it was actually pretty
cute. But I think I've seen more space in an old-fashioned
outhouse than what this bathroom had. And the beautiful bouquet
of flowers he had sent there made the place look wonderful! He's
very thoughtful and caring).
Now tour the Florida Keys. Let him make all the plans and tell
him how great it sounds. Then let him know how you would like to
eventually see something while you are there. This is another
test and if he passes, he will take you there first. I, on the
other hand did not have to worry about this because he is
extremely smart, and just kept asking me what I would like to do.
(He didnt even get upset when I kept saying it didnt matter to
me, I just wanted to see whatever sites where around). He may
even rent a boat for the day. Now if he does this, please keep in
mind, on the water he doesn't need to keep his eyes on the water
like he does the road, so go ahead and throw caution to the wind
and sunbath however you wish. Make sure you wear sunblock 50, you
will still get a great tan. The Florida sun is alot different
from the north sun. It knows if you are not a native and will
seek you out very much in the same way vendors can spot a tourist.
(Honey I've finally stopped peeling and the blistering didn't
leave any permanent scars). Have him anchor the boat, and you can
wade your way through the water to a private and secluded little
island. Make sure if you help him throw the anchor overboard, it
is not wrapped around your ankel and give him a heartattack (sorry
about that honey). The water is so clear you can see the sand and
sealife beneath you. If your lucky, you will get to see a
starfish as we did (okay so he almost dropped the anchor on it).
Do not stand in the same spot of water for to long or you may get
pinched by a sandcrab (stupid thing did not realize that I could
have easily picked him up and stuck him in a pot of boiling water
as an hors d'ourve). When you are walking back to the water and
you see some splashing about and water ripples, do not joke
around before entering the water by telling him it is a shark. It
really will be a shark! He will be so excited at seeing this,
that when he videotapes it, the camcorder will be off when he
thinks it is on, and on when he thinks it is off, so that way you
only see enough to know that yes there is a shark and yes its
only 2 ft from your feet. (Hon, you were sooo brave! How you
walked towards it to capture it on tape. The kids got a big laugh
when they heard me shout "get me the hell out of here"
as I jumped on your back. And they thought it was funnier as you
shouted when the shark took a bite of your toe).
Now after the Florida Keys, he took me to see my granparents and
mom. (Which you all will be pleased to hear, she is dating a very
nice man). All is well with them, and this was yet another test
for him, and he passed it. They all enjoyed meeting him and liked
him. Why just the other day my grandmom was on the phone with me
and asked "how did your little british friend enjoy the
states? He is quite the gentleman."
(Stop laughing Lynda. Okay so I found that extremely funny too,
but she's old and her senses are not what they used to be).
A very nice and romantic place to visit would be in Tennesee. It
would be best to do some driving here too as it is a trek from
Florida to there. As you leave the western side of Florida, do
not forget to wave hi as you pass Cookie's exit (sorry I forgot
your tent, but I did remember to wave). I, myself, drove the last
2 hours of Florida and well into the middle of Georgia. (Honey, I
still can't figure out why you had that jacket covering your head
everytime I drove the car. And another thing, what was up with
using those earplugs?)
If you are from the north and you have a hard time understanding
just what it is they are saying over a drive-thru ordering menu
at McDonald's, do not go through a fast food place in Western
Georgia or Tennesee. Its best just to wait until you want to get
out of the car and sit down and eat. (By the way, McDonald's does
use real egg in the egg mcmuffins!!! I know I got the eggshell!
How cool is that....Real Eggs....who would have known!)
Tennessee has an abundance of waterfalls, babbling brooks (not to
be confused with babbling woman for all you men reading this),
and rapid rivers. If you have made it this far without killing
each other or hating each other, one of these spots would be the
perfect place for him to propose. Just keep in mind though just
because he proposes doesnt mean you're out of the woods (no pun
intended) yet. Say your sweetheart or now fiance decides that it
would be the most perfect picture of you standing on a rock in
the middle-front of a small waterfall with slight rapid waters,
there is one of 3 things that will happen. 1) He will push you
in, 2) He is hoping you will fall in, and with a feeble attempt
to hold out his hand as he watches you be carried off in the
rushing waters, OR 3) After he takes the picture, you will be
climbing up to get back on solid ground and smash your head into
an overhead rock.(I am convinced that you were attempting the 2nd
option here honey. You say that you were not trying to push me
in, but then can you please explain why you grabbed the camera
strap instead of my arm???)
Now after this trip, you head home. Your both tired and just want
a home cooked meal with your very own bed. OK so not his bed, but
its yours. But your journey is not over. So far you are both very
much in love still after sunburns, sharks, family visits,
proposals, and killer rocks. AAhhhh but he's not done yet. If you
have children, he must now go to the ultimate test. Ok so he has
been around them before, but he has never vacationed with them.
Lets go to Canada! (shut up ya'll it was my vacation and you
still don't have a choice, cause it is still MY article!) So tips
for traveling with children, while giving him "THE TEST".
First, I suggest taking lots of their favorite cd's (music cd's
not mutual fund cd's). Start off by putting in music they all
like (so you don't have to hear them
argue). Don't be afraid to sing along with the kids. If he really
loves you, he'll either like it or he won't and not say a word.
After the first 2 hours of music, the kids are getting
rambunctious, the music monotonous. So have the kids draw signs
to stick on the windows. Let them carry on a bit and argue some,
(lets see how he handles this!) and then, let yourself go. Roll
your window down, lean far enough out the window (just watch your
back with extreme caution, any one of them could give you a nudge
out of it) and get the truckers to beep their horns by
making hand jestures to as you pass. (Honey I was NOT flirting
with them for the last time! With the force of the wind, I could
not control what direction my hand would go in. Sheesh! And you
have to admit, the one I blew a kiss too did beep his horn twice.
Ooooooopppps, you didnt know about that one did you? Well since I
told you that, I might as well be honest and let you know he gave
me his phone number too. He wrote it on the side of his truck for
me, right underneath his name, Mac Truck... or was it PeterBuilt?.)
There are lots of things to do in Canada. Niagara Falls is very
nice this time of year, but take a sweater (jumper). Now a really
nice place to eat is at the Skylon Tower. We went the night we
arrived and that made for tired and cranky kids, and I was
exhuasted so I let him handle it all. (Honey you did great! You
must have nerves of steel. Hey wait a minute...I thought you
didnt smoke?)
Flutterby, it was nice to see you and your family at the
Butterfly Convention. No wait, thats the Butterfly Contory. No no
no ....I remember now, the Butterfly Conservatory!! (ok people we
really didnt see flutterby..aka butterfly, but we did see real
butterfly's just flittin' and floatin' around. They even landed
on us). Ok now if you
should happen to not feel to well while there, have him take your
kids out to Clifton Heights. There are lots of things to see and
do. It is The Tourist Lane. Lots of shops and Museums and things.
This will give you a chance to find out how well he does with the
kids 1 on 1. (Sweetheart! The kids are still talking about how
awesome it was and how cool you are. <scratchin my head,
lookin puzzled> what was with the shot of whiskey?) OH and go
to that resteraunt that we did, they serve Easter Brunch and its
all you can eat. You can really get a lot for your money with
that. Its a sure bet for families.
Okay so you journey'd behind the falls, went to museums, went
swimming, and did all kinds of family touristy stuff. But now the
fun must end, or does it. Okay heres what you do.... On the way
home, stop and get some gasoline (petrol...sounds like half a pre-historic
animal doesn't it?). If you should happen to see a cop at the
fuel pump, ask him to come over to the car and tell your kids
that it is illegal to eat candy in the back seat of the car. Just
be prepared...If he should tell them that if they are caught
eating Easter Candy in the back seat of the car,
they will arrest their mommy and daddy and asks "you
wouldn't want that would you?", They may come back with a
comment like, "That is not my daddy, we don't care if you
arrest him, but don't arrest my mom." (but
honey, they do love you too).
If you should happen to get pulled over, have him put on his best
british accent and smile alot at the trooper. Then he can tell
them how is moving to that state and get really chatty with them.
An englishman can confuse the hell out of an officer. (not saying
that this happened to us or anything...i'm saying just in case.)
Well this concludes my tips for you all. Hopefully you are both
still in love, or at least both are still breathing. (Honey I'm
glad we are still very much in love and thank you for everything.
Thank you for putting up with me....either that or you just have
a good sense of humour).
Stay Tuned for Travel Tips in Europe... eeeeerrrrrrr First Tip...Don't
tell Lynda you are coming over. She will call Customs and have
them stop you. It took alot of convincing and I'm not sure what
she told
them, but I finally got that all situated so I CAN go over. But
thats ok, I'm going to visit her. By the way, thank you Maggs for
giving me the directions to her house, I will be sure to remember
to look for that thing you mentioned is outside her house.
*All events listed in this article are based on actual events.
But not all actual events listed in this article are actual. Some
events were actually made up events based on actual events. Those
events that were made up events based on actual events are not
really events but actually false events. All events in this
article that are not based upon actual events never happened but
those events that are based on actual events are really events
that actually happened. Did you actually get all that about all
the actual events and false actual events and which event was
actual and which event was not actual? I am meaning to say that
all events, actual and all event that are based on actual events
that did not actually happen are actually designed to get an
actual laugh out of
all you that actually is a real laugh based on any part of my
story that is an actual event that did happen or actual events
that did not actually happen. (MA pass me a bottle of your wine
please, I think I need it after writing that!)
Happi
Thats it for another month Folks! I hope you enjoyed this bumber packed issue as much as I did!
Come on Everyone! Get those pens busy for next month. Mail them to me at LyndaAtCasual@Compuserve.com We want all your contributions, don't be shy! This is a paper by the members for the members......that means YOU!
Please remember, this is a fun/interesting/informative
addition to the many features on offer at Casual Chat, critique
is welcome but nothing that attacks members, personalities or
other fora will be welcome.
Lynda [Editor]